Whatever jokes

A couple go to Mexico City for vacation and go to a famous local restaurant. They ask the waiter's opinion about what to order, and he tells them they have a special each Sunday that's wonderful, so the couple orders that.

With great fanfare, the waiter brings out a large silver serving platter with two huge steaming rounds of meat, juices dripping; it smells delicious and tastes even better.

The couple are delighted with their meal and ask the waiter just what the fabulous meat dish was. "Senor," he explains, "each Saturday night, we have the bullfights, and that was the bull's balls you ate.

The couple are a bit taken aback by what they had just eaten, but it was delicious, so they get over it.

Six months later, the couple returns back in Mexico City and decide to go to the same same restaurant. Feeling adventuresome, they order the same dish.

Once again, with great fanfare, the waiter brings out the huge silver serving dish and places it on the table. But this time there are two tiny pieces of meat, barely enough for one.

The man says, "excuse me, but the last time we were here and ordered this dish, it was huge, more than enough for two. Why is this one so small?"

The waiter smiles and replies, " Well you see, senor, sometimes the bull wins!"

Tackle me Elmo!

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger, it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore be incapable of fighting in the future.

This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew." Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French,saying, "See, we can still pluck yew! PLUCK YEW!"

Over the years, some 'folk etymologies' have grown up around this symbolic gesture. Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say (like "pleasant mother pheasant plucker", which is who you had to go to for the feathers used on the arrows for the longbow), the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodental fricative 'F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute are mistakenly thought to have something to do with an intimate encounter.

It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."