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riddle: the man
A man lives in a highrise on the 15th floor. Every morning, on the way to work, he takes the elevator all the way down to the 1st floor. But when he comes home, he takes the elevator to the 8th floor and walks the rest of the way up. The only exception is when it's raining. Why?

The man's a midget, and can't reach the buttons. When it's raining, he has his umbrella with him, so he can reach the 15 button with it.

knock, knock... george washington
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
George Washington!
George Washington who?
George Washington who? Didn't you learn anything in history class?
late garbage
One day, a woman comes out with a bunch of trash just as the garbage truck is about to pull away.

"Am I too late for the garbage?" she asks.

"No, ma'am," says the garbageman. "Hop right in!"

engineers and a glass of water
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

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