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sumo kamikaze
Three men, an Scot, an English man and a sumo wrestler were going to commit suicide by jumping of the top of a building.
The Scot jumped off and shouted 'God save Scotland!'
The English man jumped off and shouted 'God Save England!'
The Sumo wrestler jumped off and shouted 'God save the person who I land on!'
canadian gum
A Michigan man was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a diner when a Canadian man, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The Michigan man politely ignored the Canadian, who, nevertheless, started up a conversation. The Canadian snapped his gum and said, "You Michigan folk eat the whole bread?"

The Michigan man sighed, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "Of course."

The Canadian blew a huge bubble. "We don't. In Canada, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Michigan." The Canadian had a smirk on his face.

The Michigan man listened in silence. The Canadian persisted. "D'ya eat jelly with the bread?"

The Michigan man rolled his eyes and replied, "Of course."

Cracking his gum between his teeth, the Canadian said, "We don't. In Canada, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell it to Michigan."

The Michigan man then asked, "Do you have sex in Canada?" The Canadian smiled and said, "Why of course we do." The Michigan leaned closer to him and asked, "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

"We throw them away, of course."

The Michigan smiled and said, "We don't. In Michigan, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the Canadians."

the halloween costume
There once was a man with a bald head and a pegleg who was in need of a kickin' Halloween costume. So he wrote to a costume company, who promptly sent him a bandana and a hook so he could be a pirate.

Outraged that they were making fun of his pegleg, he fired off a complaint letter. In order to please him, the costume company sent him a monk's costume saying that it would be perfect for his bald head.

Now outraged that they were making fun of his bald head, the man sent another angry letter. Soon after, another package arrived in the mail -- a package of caramel. Attached was a note:

"Stick the pegleg up your ass, dip your head in caramel, and go as a caramel apple."

bucket color
What did the big black bucket say to the little white bucket?

'You're a little pail.'

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