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She sat on Pinocchio's face and told him to lie to her.
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Who's there?
Madame.
Madame who?
Madame foot will be up your ass, if you don't open this door!
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The new neighbor says, "I'm a professor." The first neigbhbor then asks, "Oh yeah, what do you teach?"
"Logic," the professor reponds.
"What is that?" the neighbor inquires.
"Well, let me see if I can give you an example...you have a dog, right?"
"Yeah, that's right," neighbor #1 responds.
"And you have children too, right?" says the professor.
"Wow, right again!" exclaims the neighbor.
"So, then you must be married and that would make you a heterosexual, right?' proclaims the professor.
"Unbelievable, you're absolutely correct. How do you know all this about me?"
"Well," the professor says, "I observed there was a dog house in your backyard, so you must have a dog. I also saw bicycles next to your garage, so you must have children. And if you have children, you are probably married and if your married, you are most likely heterosexual... it was all logical!"
The next afternoon, the neighbor runs into his old friend. His friend asks if he has met the new neighbor. The man says that he met him yesterday.
"What's he like?"
"Well," the man says, "he's nice and he is a professor of logic."
"Oh," says the friend, "what's logic?"
"Maybe I can give you an example. Do you have a dog house?"
"Why, no, I do not," responds the friend.
"Well, then," proclaims the man, "you must be gay!"
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Who's there?
George Washington!
George Washington who?
George Washington who? Didn't you learn anything in history class?
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