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the toothbrush and the toilet paper
 
 
One day a miserable toothbrush sits down and says, 'Sometimes I feel I have the worst job in the world.' Then the toilet paper yells, "Think again buddy!"
heavenly reward
 
 
Three guys died and when they got to the pearly gates, St. Peter met them there.

St. Peter said, "I know that you guys are forgiven because you're here. But before I let you into heaven, I have to ask you a couple of questions. Make sure you tell the truth because if you don't, we'll have to ask you to visit the beast below. Your answers will also determine what kind of car you will get. You have to have a car here in heaven because it is so huge!"

St. Peter asked the first man, "How long were you married?"

The guy replied, "24 years."

St. Peter then asked, "Did you ever cheat on your wife?"

The guy said, "Yeah, about 10 times... but you said I was forgiven."

Peter said, "Yes, but that's not too good. Here's a Pinto for you to drive."

The second guy got the same questions from Peter to which he replied, "I was married for 41 years and cheated on her only once, but that was during our first year and we worked it out. I was faithful thereafter."

Peter said, "I'm pleased to hear that. Here's a Mercedes SUV for you to drive."

The third guy said, "Peter, I know what you're going to ask. I was married for 63 years and didn't even look at another woman! I treated my wife like a queen!"

Peter said, "Now that's what I like to hear! Here's a Jaguar for you to drive."

A little while later, the two guys with the Lincoln and the Pinto saw the guy with the Jaguar crying on the golden sidewalk, so they went to see what was the matter. When they asked him what was wrong he tearily said, "I just saw my wife and she was on a skateboard!"

doe a deer
 
 
What did the bow-legged doe say?

Thats the last time I will do that for ten bucks.

railroad thunder
 
 
A railroad worker was cuting the grass away from the edge of the line as a train was coming in his direction. He droped all his tools and ran down the line as fast as he could. The next thing he knew, he was waking up in a hospital. A policeman asked him why didn't you just run up the grassy hill to saftey, “What chance did I have of out running up the hill if I couldn't outrun it on level ground?”

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