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speeding old chicks
 
 
A state trooper spied a car puttering along at 22 MPH. So he turned on his lights and pulled the driver over. Approaching the car, he noticed that five old ladies were inside, and they looked wide-eyed and terribly pale.

The driver pleaded with him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but driving slower than the speed limit can also be dangerous."

"I beg to differ, sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly: twenty-two miles an hour!" the old woman said.

The State Police officer, chuckling, explained to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken," the officer asked.

"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."

chuck the yuck
 
 
What did the man say to the toothpaste model after she gave him oral sex?
"WOW! Those are the whitest teeth I've ever come across."
you know you're addicted to the net when
 
 
1) All of your friends have @ in their names

2) You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem

3) Your spouse makes a new rule... Computers don't come to bed.

4) You laugh at people with 56K modems.

5) You start tilting your head to smile :-)

6) Your phone bill comes to your house in a box

7) You find yourself typing com after every period

8) You start introducing your self as 'Jon@internet.com'
hang man
 
 
A boy comes running into the kitchen and says, "Mommy, mommy! Grandpa hanged himself in the living room!"

His mother runs into the living room, and sees no one there. Angrily, she says, "Listen. You should never lie like that to me again, do you understand!?!"

"I'm sorry," says the boy. "I was just kidding. He hanged himself in the basement."


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