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one arm, two arm, red arm, blue arm
 
 
Horace was born with only one arm but he managed to struggle through life and eventually graduate from college. Due to his severe handicap, he couldn't get a job. Finally Horace became rustrated at being turned down all the time and he decided that life as a handicapped person wasn't worth living. He was about to jump off a tall building when he looked down and saw a parade going by. There was this one guy in the parade and he was having a blast, dancing and jumping and really moving but he had no arms at all.

"Well," Horace said to himself, "I got one arm and I'm up here trying to kill myself while that fella has none and he's having a great time." Horace had to find out this guy's secret to enjoying life with such a disability. So he came off the building and caught up with the guy in the parade, still dancing and jumping.

"Hey, man, I think you just saved my life. I got one arm and I'm so miserable and here you have none and you're having a great time. What's your secret, man?"

The man was still fidgeting about. "What the hell you talking about, ool? I've been trying to scratch my fanny for the past three hours!"

oscar meyer
 
 
Q: How come Frankenstein couldn't have kids?

A: Because he had a hollow weenie!
full speed ahead
 
 
What's faster than the speed of light?
An Afghani with a dinner ticket.
girls just wanna have fun
 
 
A blonde, a red head, and a brunette were walking on the beach when they found a magic lamp. They began rubbing it and genie came out and said, "You each may have one wish." The red head thought for a while and said, "Even though blondes are stupid, they have so more fun, I wish to be blonde." and she was turned blonde. The brunette agreed, "That's true, I really want to have more fun too, even though I'll be dumber, I wish to be blonde" and she became blonde also. The blonde looks at the two other blondes and said, "I just don't think I have enough fun. I don't care if I becomer even more dumb, make me more blonde, woo!" So the genie granted her wish and made her a man.

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