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poor old man
 
 
An old man is sitting on a park bench crying. A young man is walking by and asks him why he's crying. The old man says, "I'm retired and I have lots of money, a huge luxury apartment, a beautiful 25 year old wife who loves me and has sex with me twice a day"

The young man says, "Well then why the hell are you crying!?"

The old man replies, "I can't remember where I live!"

yo mama... christmas corner
 
 
Yo mama is so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the corner - so she went looking for it.
aggie accident
 
 
There was an Aggie, Longhorn, and a Red Raider who were out hunting. The Aggie brought back a big buck.

'How did you get that?' they all asked.

'I saw the tracks, followed the tracks, and 'boom' I shot a buck.' Then the longhorn brought back an elephant.

'How did you get that?" they all asked.

'I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and 'boom' I shot an elephant.' Then the Red Raider came back all beat up.

"What happened?" they all asked.

"I saw the tracks, I followed the tracks, and 'boom' I got hit by a train."

sex on the beach
 
 
A guy is walking along the beach, when he meets a girl with no legs, crying.

"Why are you crying?" he asks.

"I've never been hugged," she says. The guy hugs her, but she continues crying.

"Why are you crying?" he asks.

"I've never been kissed," she says. The guy kisses her, but she continues crying.

"Why are you crying?" he asks.

"I've never been screwed," she says. The guy picks her up and throws her into the water.

"There," he says. "Now you're screwed."


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