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holy water
 
 
How do you make Holy Water?

You boil the hell out of it!

science project
 
 
A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science fair. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment.

In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical “dihydrogen monoxide.” And for plenty of good reasons:
1. It can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
2. It is a major component of acid rain
3. It can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
4. Accidental inhalation can kill you
5. It contributes to erosion
6. It decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
7. It has been found in tumors of terminal cancer
He asked fifty people if they supported a ban of the chemical.

Forty-three said yes and six were undecided. Only one knew that the chemical, “dihydrogen monoxide” was water. The title of his prize winning project was, “How Gullible are We?” He feels the conclusion is obvious.

empty cheeze whiz
 
 
Q: What do you call an empty jar of Cheeze Whiz?

A: Cheeze Whuz.
top 10 ways to insult the elderly
 
 
1: You tell them that you went to the museum, saw dinosaur bones, and thought of them.

2: For their birthday, you offer to help them blow out the candles.

3: On their birthday, you tell the fire department that if they see a large fire, don't water it down, because soggy cake is no good.

4: Explain to them that the reason that no one can see the Christmas tree is because you put on every ornament that they got in their life.

5: Ask them if they got Columbus' autograph.

6: Tell them that the reason that they got no birthday gifts was that everyone had to pitch in to buy the candles.

7: Ask them if the Disney hit Hercules is telling the truth.

8: Ask them in what order God REALLY made the Earth.

9: Ask them if they helped God write the Bible.

10: Ask them if they personally knew Adam and Eve.

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