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you smarthole
What do you call a smart hole in the wall?

A wisecrack!
the tomato family
The Tomato family is walking down the street. There's the mama tomato, the papa tomato and baby tomato.
They're walking at a good pace when the baby starts lagging behind. Papa tomato starts getting mad. By the third block papa is so furious that he runs back and with his fist, squashes baby tomato.
He smiles and says, 'Ketchup!'
arnold's search engine
Which Search Engine does Arnold Schwarzenegger use?

Alta Vista baby.

things that make you say damn!
10) When people go the speed limit in the fast lane

9) When you just can't seem to get a green light when you're in a hurry.

8) When the police speed in regular traffic, but go the speed limit in emergencies.

7) When police or firemen turn their sirens and lights on just to get past the red light.

6) When their is nothing in the fridge when you're hungry, but when you're full, so is the fridge.

5) When, on the toilet, you go to reach for the toilet paper and....

4) Bob Costas.

3) When the gas prices go up in the summer when you need to use the A/C.

2) When the police pull you over, and you realize you forgot to take the reefer out of your ashtray.

1) When you go to pull the trigger to save your own life, and the gun just goes 'click.'

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