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millionaire's party guest
 
 
A millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his fiftieth birthday.

During the party he grabs the mic and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. "The man who dares to swim across that pool gets any of my riches he desires."

The party continues with no one in the pool, until suddenly, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened.

In the pool is a man swimming as hard as he can. The fins come out of the water and the jaws are snapping and yet this guy just keeps on going. The sharks are gaining on him but somehow this guy reaches the end and he gets out of the pool, wet and soaked.

The millionaire grabs the mic and says, "I am a man of his word. Anything of mine I will give. My Ferrari's, my house, absolutely anything. For you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir, what will it be?"

The guy grabs the mic and says, "Why don't we start with the name of the idiot that pushed me in!"

star wars -vs- star trek
 
 
12. In the Star Wars universe, weapons are rarely, if ever, set on 'stun'.
11.The enterprise needs a huge engine room with an anti-matter unit and a crew of 20 just to go into warp -- the Millenium Falcon does the same thing with R2-D2 and a Wookie.
10. After resisting the Imperial torture droid and Darth Vader, Princess
still looks fresh and desirable -- after pithy Cardassian starvation torture, Picard looks like hell.
9.Jabba the Hutt would eat Harry Mudd for trying to cut in on his action.
8. Luke Skywalker is not obsessed with sleeping with every alien he encounters.
7. One word: lightsabers!
6.The Federation would have to attempt to liberate any ship named Slave I.
5.The Death Star doesn't care if the Earth is class M or not.
4. Darth Vader could choke the entire Borg empire with one glance.
3. Picard pilots through the Enterprise through an asteroid belt at one-quarter inpulse power. Han Solo floors it.
2. Aliens have make-up in other places than their foreheads.
1. Death Star vs. Enterprise!
holy water
 
 
How do you make Holy Water?

You boil the hell out of it!

the new 69
 
 
Due to the changes in the law, 69 is now 75.

There's a new tax on eating out...

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