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ring my bell
The bell-ringer for the church had just passed away, so the priest was looking for someone new to ring the bell. Then one day this man comes out of nowhere and starts banging on the door. The priest opens the door and sees that the man has no arms. The priest asks him, "How can you ring the bell?" The man said, "Let me show you." They went up to the bell and the man started hitting the bell with his head. The bell starts to swaying and the man misses, then he goes flying through the window. Two more priests come running and ask, "What happened? Who was that?" The second man said, "I don't know but that face sure rings a bell."
Man visits doctor with apple stuck in mouth, celery stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril. He mumbles ' Doc, I'm just not feeling well.' Doctor replies, 'Maybe you're not eating right.'
A Canadian, an American and a China man are stranded on a deserted island. The Canadian tells the others that he will be in charge of food. American volunteers to be in charge of water and the Chinese man says he will be in charge of supplies. They split up to do their jobs and decide to meet up later. When the Canadian and the American return, there is no sign of the Chinese man. Days pass by, but they still can't find their friend. One day as they are walking along a path, the Chinese man jumps from the bushes and yells "SUPPLIES!"
urethra vs. garden hose
Q: What's the difference between a urethra and a garden hose?

A: Well, let me tell you, there's a vas deferens...

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