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sunbathing
 
 
When should a woman get a suntan?

When the roof blows off the kitchen!
havaii or hawaii
 
 
These two persons are discussing whether the state of Hawaii is pronounced 'Havaii' or 'Hawaii.' So there they stood arguing and arguing, until they decided to ask the gentleman that was walking by. The gentleman said, 'Havaii.' So they both looked at each other, and as the gentleman was leaving, one of the two said to him, 'Thank you.' The gentleman replied by saying, 'Your velcome.'
the misprinted money melee
 
 
This crook mistakenly made a counterfeit $8 bill instead of a $10 bill. He decided to try getting the $8 bill changed so he went to the teller at the local bank and asked for change. The teller looked at the $8 bill, hesitated, and then gave the crook two $4 bills as change.
the day owl and the night cat
 
 
In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars.

An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?"

The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night."

The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy.

The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?"

The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address!

During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl.

The cat replies, "He is here!' and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."


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