Whatever jokes

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cow or tractor
If a farmer was only able to choose between buying a cow or a tractor, what should he pick. On one hand, he would look funny riding on a cow. On the other hand, he would look funnier trying to milk a tractor.
a cucumber, a pickle, and a penis
One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were all discussing how much their lives suck.
The cucumber says, "I get picked from my home, sliced up, and thrown a salad. My life sucks the most."

The pickle then says, "I get picked from my home, shoved in a jar, submerged in liquid thats smells awful. So my life sucks the most."

The penis then says, "Oh please! My life definitely sucks the most. I get a tarp wrapped over my head, stuck in a wet black hole, and rammed against a wall until I vomit."

car dealership funny
I went to a car dealership to look at cars, and saw a sign that read, 'If you want to get back on your feet... miss a car payment.'
fire engine red
Why are fire engines red?

You'd be red too if somebody picked up your hose and dragged it across the street!

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