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potato in the pants
 
 
James was on the beach, and could not understand why Bob had attracted all the girls, while he had no luck. So he asked Rich "why do you get all the girls and I get nothing?"

Bob replied "take a potato and tuck it in your swimming trunks. It drives the women wild!"

So James stuffed a potato in his suit and paraded up and down the beach. Several hours later, he still had no woman.

James went to see Bob again and said "I've tried the potato and it doesn't work!"

Bob looked at James and asked, "have you tried putting the potato in the front?"

a seismologist, a meteorologist, and a fireman...
 
 
A seismologist, a meteorologist, and a fireman were P.O.W.s to a group of terrorists.

Before the day of their scheduled execution, they all agreed on escaping by shouting out something really loud to hopefully scare them off.

The next day the first one to be pulled was the seismologist. The terrorists put him next to a tree and aimed ther guns at his head. The leader said, "Any last words?"

The seismologist replied with a loud shout, "Earthquake!"

The terrorists got scared and ran, so the seismologist escaped.

The terrorists and grabbed the meteorologist. They put him next to a tree with guns pointed at his head. The leader said, "Any last words?"

The meteorologist replied,"Tornado!"

The terrorists got scared and ran away, so the meteorologist escaped.

The terrorists came back and went on to the last, the fireman. They put him next to the tree and pointed guns at his head. The leader said, "Any last words?"

The fireman replied, "Fire!"

So they shot him and he died.

why did the blonde get fired...
 
 
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?

She was throwing away all the W's.

heavy sack
 
 
Q: Why is Santa's sack so big?

A: He only comes once a year.


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