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top ten woman bashing lines
 
 
  1. Why are there no female astronauts on the moon?
    'Cause it doesn't need cleaning yet.
  2. Why does the bride always wear white?
    Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.
  3. Why do women fake orgasms?
    Because they think men care.
  4. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
    Made her chain too long.
  5. How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?
    Phone her.
  6. How many men does it take to open a beer?
    None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
  7. How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
    They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.
  8. What are the three fastest means of communication?
    1) Internet 2) Telephone 3) Tell a woman
  9. What's the difference between your wife and your job?
    After 10 years the job still sucks.
  10. What should you give a woman who has everything?
    A man to show her how to work it.
signs you've had too much of the '90s
 
 
1. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have email addresses.

2. If you can't order it by midnight and have it delivered by noon the next day, it is just too slow.

3. Your Stockbroker's name ends in '.com'

4. A Blind date means chatting online with someone you haven't met before.

5. Keeping up with sports means having your favorite sports teams bookmarked

6. You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on ways to improve their efficiency

7. You get all excited when it's Saturday and you can wear sweats to work.

8. You find you really need Power Point to explain what kind of work you do.

9. You normally eat out of vending machines and at the most expensive restaurant in town within the same week.

10. You apologize to your friends who didn't get holiday cards from you. “Sorry, I only sent ‘e-cards’ this year, you just didn't make the cut”

11. You think a “half-day” means leaving at 5 o'clock.

12. You get most of your jokes via email instead of in person.
you do not have to oil animals
 
 
What's the only animal that has to be oiled? A mouse. Why? 'Cause it squeaks!
70's cookie band?
 
 
What do you call a 70's cookie band?
OREO Speedwagon!

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