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military heaven
 
 
3 men die and go to heaven. One's a marine, one's a Navy seal, and the last is an army ranger. At the pearly gates, Saint Peter is unsure if he was going to let them in due to their philandering and boorish ways.

He decides to let them in, but gives a strict warning not to have impure thoughts or they will lose their wings and burn in hell. All 3 men walk in, and as a test Saint Peter sends a beautiful blonde angel walking in front of all 3 men.

As the blonde angel bends over and grabs her ankles, the navy seal and the marine lose their wings. As they bent over to pick up their wings, the ranger lost his.

never been kissed
 
 
One day a man is walking along the beach and sees a quadriplegic girl on the boardwalk, sitting in her wheelchair and crying. He decides to be a good samaritan and asks her what's wrong. She replies sadly, "I've never been hugged."

So he hugs the girl, which seems to cheer her up and he continues on his way.

The next day he sees the girl again, still sitting on the boardwalk and crying, so he asks her what's wrong and she replies, "I've never been kissed."

So, he kisses the girl dutifully and goes on his way.

The following day, he passes her again, and once again, she's crying and he asks her what's wrong. She replies, "I've never been screwed."

So, the man wheels her down the boardwalk, pushes her off the pier and says, "Now, you're screweed!"

you sinner!!!!!!!
 
 
A conscience does not prevent sin; it only prevents you from enjoying it.
confucious say...people who can count
 
 
Confucious say, 'There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count. And those who can't.'

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