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why god created man
 
 
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.

"Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the problem, Eve?"

"Lord, I know you created me and all of this beautiful garden and all of these amazing animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above. "Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"What's a man, Lord?" "Man will be a flawed creature, with many wreteched traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time.

But... he'll be bigger, stronger, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll make him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs.

He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly."

"Sounds wonderful!" says Eve, " but what's the catch, Lord?"

Well... you can have him on one condition."

"What's that, Lord?" "As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring... So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. Just remember, it's our little secret... You know, woman to woman."

big pink gorilla
 
 
One day in the middle of the desert a man's car breaks down. He remembers seeing a gas station near by, so he decides tp push his car. The man finally gets to the gas station and has the car fixed. Tired, the man asks the mechanic, "Hey, where is the nearest hotel?"

The mechanic replies, "No hotel here, but about 100 miles down the road you'll see there's a room under the cactus there. But what ever you do don't touch the big pink gorilla."

The man drives to the cactus. He opens a door and shuts it behind him, finds another door and shuts it behind him, then he finds a third door and shuts it behind him.

Lo and behold he sees a big pink gorilla in the room. The gorilla is docile and looks so cute and soft he's dying to touch it. He can't help himself. He walks over to the cage and starts trying to touch him through the bars.

As soon as the man lays a finger on him, the big pink gorilla freaks out. He beats his chest and rips his cage door clean off.

The man runs for his life. He opens the first door, slams it behind him. Opens the second door, slams it behind him. The man hear a crash as he opens the third door and slams it behind him.

The man hears a roar. He runs to the car, opens the door and shuts it. He locks all the doors and starts the car, as he sees the big pink gorilla racing towards him.

The big pink gorilla rips the car door off his car.The man thinks he's going to faint.

The gorilla pokes the guy and says, "Tag you're it!"

dial-a-rooster?
 
 
What do you get when you mix a rooster with a telephone pole?

A thirty foot cock that wants to reach out and touch someone.
ken and barbie
 
 
Q: Why didn't Ken and Barbie have kids?

A: Ken came in a different box!


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