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fish tv
What is a fish's favorite game show?

Name that Tuna.

nine lives
Once there was man named Jim, who let his dog out to pee late one night. He watched some TV, and then remembered to let the dog back in. When he opened the door, he was shocked at what he saw! In his dog's mouth was his neighbor's cat, dead!

"Bad dog! BAD DOG!" said the panicked man.

He couldn't bring himself to tell his nieghbor what happened, so he decided to clean it up and leave it on the neighbor's porch. He took the cat into the bathroom and washed off all the blood and dirt. It took him forever, he had to wash it four times to get it all cleaned. He brushed it's beautiful white fur, blow dried it, and put it's collar back on. Since it was so dark, he snuck into the neighbor's yard, and laid the cat down on the porch, in front of the door.

The next day, he was on his way to the car to go to work and his nieghbor was outside.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," replied Jim, nervously.

His neighbor said, "Something weird happened last night."

"Oh yeah? What's that," asked Jim, sweating now.

"Well, my cat died yesterday, and we buried him, and this morning he was lying on my front porch!"

pokemon loo
Why don't you take a Pokemon into the bathroom with you?

Because it might Pikachu.

"Do you ever get horny?" said one widow to the other.
"What do you do about it?"
"I suck on a lifesaver."
"Oh. That works?"
"What beach do you go to?"

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