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sister anne's hot tip
Sitting by the window in her convent, Sister Anne opened a letter from home and found a $10 bill inside.

As she read the letter she caught sight of a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against a lamppost below.

Quickly she wrote, "Don't despair, Sister Anne" on a piece of paper, wrapped the $10 in it and dropped it out the window.

The stranger picked it up and, with a puzzled expression and a tip of his hat, went off down the street.

The next day Sister Anne was told that a man was at the door, insisting on seeing her. She went down and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her a roll of bills. "What's this?" she asked.

"That's the 60 bucks you have coming. Don't Despair paid five to one."

pic & sav
What did the little birdie say when he flew over Pic & Sav?
Cheap, cheap, cheap.
oh, goodness
Why'd the boy blush when he opened the fridge?

He saw the salad dressing!

nine lives
Once there was man named Jim, who let his dog out to pee late one night. He watched some TV, and then remembered to let the dog back in. When he opened the door, he was shocked at what he saw! In his dog's mouth was his neighbor's cat, dead!

"Bad dog! BAD DOG!" said the panicked man.

He couldn't bring himself to tell his nieghbor what happened, so he decided to clean it up and leave it on the neighbor's porch. He took the cat into the bathroom and washed off all the blood and dirt. It took him forever, he had to wash it four times to get it all cleaned. He brushed it's beautiful white fur, blow dried it, and put it's collar back on. Since it was so dark, he snuck into the neighbor's yard, and laid the cat down on the porch, in front of the door.

The next day, he was on his way to the car to go to work and his nieghbor was outside.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," replied Jim, nervously.

His neighbor said, "Something weird happened last night."

"Oh yeah? What's that," asked Jim, sweating now.

"Well, my cat died yesterday, and we buried him, and this morning he was lying on my front porch!"

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