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Whatever


taste it
 
 
A customer in a restuarant orders a bowl of soup. However, the customer notices that something is wrong. So he calls the waiter over.
"Can you please taste the soup?"
"What's wrong with the soup?"
"Just taste it."
"Why?"
"Just taste it."
"Sir, I--"
"Just taste it."
"Fine, I'll taste the soup. Where's the spoon?"
"EXACTLY. BRING ME A GODDAMN SPOON."
inner space
 
 
What has three balls and comes from outer space?

E.T., the Extra-Testicle!

deeds vs. words
 
 
There was a long line of souls before the gate of Heaven and Hell. Waiting on line beside each other were two residents of New York City, a taxi driver and a priest and they started chatting to kill the time. Finally, it was the taxi driver's turn to be judged; after talking with God for a few minutes, he was allowed to enter heaven. The priest came after him and had his few minutes with God. He, however, was sent to hell.

Needless to say, the priest was pretty surprised by this turn of events and asked God why he, who had constantly talked to people about God, had been sent to hell and a taxi driver was going to heaven. God replied, " We judge whether one goers to heaven not by the words he has said but the deeds he has done on the earth. While you talked about God, people slept, but they all remembered me when he drove."

fan and vacuum
 
 
Fan to the Vacuum: "You suck."

Vacuum to the Fan: "Blow me."


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