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what do dale earnhardt and pink floyd...
What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?

Their last big hit was The Wall.

the legend of the christmas tree angel
Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right. Mrs. Claus had burned all the cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime they had worked making toys, and were threatening to go on strike. The reindeer had been drinking eggnog all afternoon. To make matters worse, a few of the other elves had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and had crashed it into a tree.

Santa was furious. "I can't believe it! I've got to deliver millions of presents all over the world in just a few hours, and all of my reindeer are drunk, the elves are walking out, and I don't even have a Christmas tree! I sent that stupid little angel out HOURS ago to find a tree and he isn't even back yet! What am I going to do?"

Just then, the little angel opened the front door and stepped in from the snowy night, dragging a Christmas tree. The angel said, "Yo, fat man! Where do you want me to stick the tree this year?"

And thus the tradition of angels atop the Christmas trees came to pass...

grosser than gross - pudding
What's grosser than gross?

Dreaming about eating chocolate pudding, and waking up with a spoon in your butt.

the native american clock
One day, there was a cowboy riding a horse in the desert. He came along this native American layin' naked with a hard-on, so the cowboy decided to ask the N. American, 'What are you doing, why are you layin there naked?'

The N. American replies, 'I'm finding out the time.'

So the cowboy's like, 'Well then, what time is it?'

The N. American replies 'its 12:15.'

The cowboy looks at his watch and thought, "Wow he's pretty good. It really is 12:15."

The cowboy continues on a few hours and sees another N. American laying naked on the ground with a hard-on. So again he asks, what he is doing. The N. American replies'

I'm seeing what time it is.'

The cowboy asks him what time it was, and the N. American answered, "it's 3:15."

The cowboy looked at his watch and he too had the correct time. The cowboy continued moseying on and he finds a third N. American laying naked on the ground with a hard-on, EXCEPT this guy is jerking off.

The cowboy, leans over and asks what he was doing and the N. American replied, "I'm winding my watch."'

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