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that's not what i meant
 
 
Jeremy and Kris are walking down the street and see a dog licking himself. Jeremy says, "Man, I wish I could do that!" Kris replied, "I think you'd have to pet him first."
cow tornado
 
 
Q: What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A: A milk shake.
big red
 
 
A Russian couple were walking down a street in Moscow one night when the man felt a drop hit his nose.

"I think it's raining," he said to his wife.

"No that felt like snow to me, dear," she replied.

"No I'm sure it was just rain," he said. They were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then, they saw a minor communist party official walking towards them.

"Let's not fight about it," the man said. "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether its officially raining or snowing." As the man approached the husband said:

"Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?"

"It's raining, of course" he replied and walked on. But the woman insisted.

"I know that felt like snow!"

To which the man quietly said, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

how to get a raise
 
 
A boss tells his new employee, "I'll give you 8 bucks an hour starting today and in three months, I'll raise it to 10 bucks an hour. So when would you like to start?'

'In 3 months.'


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