Whatever jokes

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five pound fly
 
 
How do you get five pounds of meat out of a fly?

Unzip It!

lesbians in a canoe
 
 
What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?

Fur traders.

monster valentine
 
 
Boy Monster: Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine's?

Girl Monster: Yes, I did. Thank you.

Boy Monster: Is it still beating?

no, officer
 
 
A man is driving with wife, when he is pulled over by a policeman.
"Sir," says the cop. "You were going 60 in a 50."
"No, I wasn't."
"Yes, you were," says the wife.
"Keep quiet!" says the man, angrily.
"And you weren't wearing a seatbelt," says the cop.
"Yes I was."
"No, you weren't," says the wife.
"SHUT UP!" says the man, really angry.
"Ma'am," asks the cop, "is he always the rude and violent?"
"Only when he's DRUNK."

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