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the last southern virgin
 
 
What do you call a 12 year old girl from Louisiana who's a virgin?

Faster than her brothers.

lemon squeeze
 
 
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they had a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over timebut nobody could do it. One day, a scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit.
"I'd like to try the bet," he said in a tiny, squeaky voice. After the laughter had died down, the bartender grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. He handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000 and asked the little man what he did for a living. Was he a lumberjack, or a weightlifter, or what?
"I work for the IRS."
homework
 
 
"Jimmy! I thought I told you to do the dishes after you do your homework! Why are you watching television?"
"It's okay, Mom! I haven't done my homework yet."
witches brew
 
 
What do you call a witch on a beach?

A sandwitch!

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