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bloody mary
 
 
What's grosser than gross?

A bloody mary with curly, brittle hairs in it!

sobriety test
 
 
A man got pulled over by a cop because he was weaving in and out of the lanes. The cop got out of his car and asked the driver to blow in a breath-analyzer tube to check his alcohol level.
"Oh, no," the driver said. "I can't do that. If I do that, I'll have an asthma attack and die."
"OK," said the officer, "let's go down to the station and you can pee in a cup to check your alcohol level."
"Oh, no, I can't do that. I'm a diabetic and if I pee my blood sugar level will go down so low that I might die."
"Fine then. Let's go to the station and take a blood test to check your alcohol level."
"Oh, no, I can't do that. I'm a hemophiliac and I'll never stop bleeding if you draw my blood.
"All right then, just step outside your car and walk this white line for me."
"Oh, no, I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm drunk."
teepee
 
 
Q: What happened to the Indian who drank too much tea?


A: He drowned in his teapea.
cruel joke
 
 
What did the blind, deaf, mute quadraplegic boy get for Christmas?

Cancer!


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