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it's very difficult to marry princesses
 
 
Three men want to marry the king's most beautiful daughter. The king agrees to give them a chance, but they must perform three difficult tasks: defeat an ogre, turn lead to gold, and screw a cow. The first man dies fighting the ogre, the second fails at turning lead to gold, but the third man successfully completes all three tasks.
"Congratulations!" says the king. "You may now have my daughter's hand in marriage."
"Screw that," says the man. "I want the cow."
n'sync vs. bucket
 
 
What's the difference between an N'SYNC song and a bucket of crap?

The bucket.

polish frogmen
 
 
Why don't Polish people kill frogs?

Because it's their national bird.

the mystery of the thermos
 
 
A newspaper reporter went to interview an old man who was the last person in the county to have lived through the Civil War. Thinking he had a story, the reporter started asking some questions. "Sir, you have lived through the civil war and two world wars. You have seen the invention of the automobile and the airplane. In all of your days, what would you say is the single most interesting thing you have seen in all of your days?"

The man replied, "The Thermos."

Puzzled, the reporter asked, "Why?"

"Well," the old man responded, "when you put something hot in it, it keeps it hot. When you put something cold in it, it keeps it cold... HOW DOES IT KNOW?"


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