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Whatever


ya wanna find jesus?
 
 
A drunk man stumbled into a church where there were baptisms being performed. The priest noticed him and asked him if he wanted to find Jesus.

"Sure," said the drunk man. "I'll find Jesus." So the priest took the drunk man's head and dunked it into the baptismal waters. When he came up for air, he was sputtering and couging.

"Damn," said the drunk man. "Are you sure he fell in there?"

clams casino
 
 
How's a casino like a woman?

Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
god helps me pee
 
 
An old man and his daughter go to the doctor for his monthly checkup. During examination, the doctor asks how his nightly incontinence is.

"It's fine," says the old man. "I just get up and go to the bathroom, and God turns on the light for me."

The doctor finishes up the examination, and then calls in the daughter to tell her about the God-light thing.

"Oh, my God!" says the daughter. "He's been using the fridge again!"

what's up doc?
 
 
A guy says, "Doctor, Doctor! Help me, I keep thinking I'm getting smaller!"

Doctor replies, "Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."


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