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a country war
 
 
A Tennessee man and an Alabama man were fighting in a war, and both were caught by the enemy.
"Before i put you to death," said the enemy, "do you have any last requests?"

The Alabama man said, "Could you shoot me after you play the song 'Yeah, Alabama?"

"Sure," the man agreed. "How about you?"

The Tennessee man said, "COuld you shoot me before you play 'Yeah, Alabam?"

irish delecacy
 
 
There once was a lowly snail, who was busily crawling through the forrest one day when he happens upon a Leprechaun, perched upon a toadstool. The Leprechaun looks down at the poor snail, crawling on his belly all his life, and takes pity on him. "Snail," he says. "I am going to grant you a wish. Whatever you want, you have only to ask."

The snail can't believe his luck! He thinks for a moment, and then excitedly exclaims, "Yes! I do have a wish! I want a brand new, shiny red Corvette Stingray!" The Leprechaun at first thinks that this is pretty strange, but then, considering that he is talking to a snail, perhaps not.

"And" continues the snail. "I want a bright, golden "S" painted on the doors, the hood and the trunk of my corvette."

"You shall have your wish," responds the Leprechaun. With the wave of his hand, the snail's wish is granted.

And now, whenever the snail roars through the forrest in his shiny new corvette, with the big "S" on the side, all the other animals of the forrest say... "Wow! Look at that crazy "S" car go!"

mini meanie
 
 
The golf course was haunted by a malicious, evil leprechaun who exploited the ambitions of the poorer players. He popped up beside one unfortunate man who was participating in a club competition.

"Look," he said, "if you agree never to court a woman, flirt with a girl or marry, I'll help you win."

"Done," shouted the young golfer. The leprechaun was very pleased with conniving ways, and chuckled merrily.

When the golfer was in the clubhouse being praised by the other members, the leprechaun popped up on the shelf of the locker. "Hey," said the little elf, "I have to have your name for my records. What is it?"

"Father Murphy," grinned the golfer as he adjusted his Roman collar.

oceans apart
 
 
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean?

Nothing, they just waved.


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