Whatever jokes

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you're so...ugly
 
 
You're so ugly that when you were born the doctor mistook you and the afterbirth for twins.
from dusk till...oh.
 
 
I was up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
widow for one year
 
 
One day three women were at a beauty parlor talking about their husbands. The first woman says, 'Last night my husband said he was going to his office, but when I called they said he wasn't there!'

'I know!' the next woman says, 'Last night my husband said he was going to his brother's house but when I called he wasn't there.'

The third woman says, 'I always know where my husband is.'

'Impossible!' both women say, 'He has you completely fooled!'

'Oh no,' says the woman. 'I'm a widow.'
guns 'n' mimes
 
 
If a mime shoots you, must he use a silencer?

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