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not so saved by the bell
 
 
The preacher was very distraught after the death of the bell ringer the day before and didn't know what to do. He began the search for another bell ringer. Many people tried, but none could match the talents of the bell ringer he had before.

Finally, when the priest had all but given up hope, an armless man came to apply for the job. The priest was ready to turn him away, how could an armless man do justice to the bells of his church?

The man pleaded with him and told him he was the brother of the man who died the day before. When the priest heard that he decided that out of respect for his brother he must allow him to try.

The man thanked the priest and began to throw his shoulder into the bell. The priest could hardly believe the wonderful tones coming from the bells. As the priest was about to appoint him the bell ringer the man ran once more for the bell. But this time he tripped and fell to his death on the street.

The priest ran out and a large crowd had gathered. Someone shouted 'Does any one know this man? '

To which the priest replied, ' I don't know his name but he's a dead ringer for his brother'

a little lysdexic humor
 
 
Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?

He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.

gay men & light bulb
 
 
Q: How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One to screw it in and four to stand back and say, “That looks faabulous.”
speed trap
 
 
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.

He later received in the mail a ticket for $40, and a photo of his car.

Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.

Several days later, he received a letter from the police department that contained another picture - of handcuffs.


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