Whatever jokes

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how annoy your roommate
tantly and talk and laugh with them.

3. When he/she says, "Is it hot out?" Look puzzled and put on your winter jacket.

4. Pick up the phone even when it is not ringing.

5. Stare at the mirror and start laughing at it. Hey, laugh really hard ok?

6.Talk to the goldfish about fat cats lurking around. Then laugh aloud, happy that you have scared it.

7. Pretend to be angry and bang the table hard AND loud. Later apologise for the hurt and grief caused to the table. Be sincere and write a letter of apology to the table.

8. Ask him/her the time constantly. Every 5 minutes. All night too.

9. Roll around the room and behave like a cat. Lick yourself and scratch the floor. Play with a ball of yarn and eat only fish. Meow loudly at him/her when he/she talks to you.

10. Buy underpants for him/her and say, "Now we can share!"

cannibals clowning around
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One stops and says to the other:

'Does this taste funny to you?'

cow abortion
What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?

baked bean death
Slash, a well-known murderer, had been on death row for nearly 20 years. During that time, he had befriended the Warden. Now, the Warden still had a job to do, but that didn't stop him from treating Slash special from time to time. A week before Slash was to go to the electric chair, the Warden asked Slash if there was anything special he would like. Slash thought for a bit and said he would like the Warden to contact his wife and have her make meatloaf for him the rest of his life (which by this time, was short). Of course, the Warden complied and each day, Slash sat down and had a big feed of his wife's meatloaf.

The night before the big day, another prisoner was allowed to visit Slash and asked him. 'Aren't you afraid of dying tomorrow?'

Slash answered, 'I ain't gonna die tomorrow.'

The other prisoner then said, 'But tomorrow is Friday, and we all know, that's the day they're sendin' you to the electric chair.'

'Don't matter,' said Slash, 'if this meatloaf can't kill me, nothin' can.'

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