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peg-leg baldy
 
 
A bald man with a peg leg gets invited to a costume party. Being shy and self-conscious about his appearance, he goes to the best costume shop in town. When he gets there, he tells the shop owner his situation and that he would rather cover his head and leg with a costume instead instead of exploiting his apparent problems. So, the shop owner comes back with a lifeguard costume. The man says, "No, no. That will show off my peg leg. I can't hide it with that. Try again."

So the shop owner leaves and comes back with a monk costume And again the man says, "No, no. I can't wear that. It will make people notice my head."

Obviously pissed off, the shop owner leaves and comes back with a five-pound bag of caramels, gives it to the man and says, "Here. Just take this." Confused, the man says, "What am I suposed to do with a bag of caramels?" Smiling, the shop owner says, "Take home this bag of caramels, melt them, pour it all over your body, stick that peg leg up your ass and tell everyone you're a caramel apple."

dyslexic lightbulb
 
 
How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?
joke joke
 
 
When's a joke like a father?

When the punchline's apparent!
dead donkey
 
 
A clergyman awoke one morning to find a dead donkey in his front yard. He had no idea how it got there, but he knew he had to get rid of it.
He called the sanitation department, the health department, and several other agencies, but no one seemed able to help him.

In desperation, the good reverend called the mayor and asked what should be done. The mayor must have been having a bad day. 'Why bother me?' he asked. 'You're a clergyman. It's your job to bury the dead.'

The pastor lost his cool. 'Yes,' he snapped, 'But I thought I should at least notify the next-of-kin.'


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