Whatever jokes

"Who was the first man?" asked Peter.

"Adam."

"That's correct. Enter." Soon another man came along.

"Where did Adam and Eve live?"

"Eden."

That's correct. Enter." Then Mother Theresa came along.

"Ooh, I'll have to give you a hard one. What did Eve say when she met Adam for the first time?"

"Mmm, that IS a hard one."

"Enter."

(read Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.)

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick-up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car? A: Always wear a condom.

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use? A: Your car.

Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident? A: Be too sh*t-faced to find your keys.

Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving. A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully? A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed? A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light? A: The color.

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic? A: Heavy psychedelics.

Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem? A: Carry loaded weapons.