Whatever jokes

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nuts and bolts
 
 
What did the nut say to the bolt?

Screw me!
an act of charity
 
 
One Sunday a pastor asked his congregation to consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had contributed a $1,000 bill. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation, and said he'd like to personally thank the person who had placed the money in the plate.

A very quiet, elderly, saintly widow shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and asked her to pick out three hymns.

Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three handsomest men in the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him."

ford cars -vs- golf balls
 
 
What's the difference between a Ford and a golf ball?

You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

full of bull
 
 
'Q: What did the Car seat say to the young bull?

A: Luke, I am your father'

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