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top ten surreal, scary, or stupid situations
 
 
  1. Remake of "Roots" starring Michael Jackson
  2. Performance of "The Nutcracker" by the Bolshoi Ballet with special guest Hillary Clinton
  3. The Martha Stewart WWF Smackdown
  4. Any sitcom starring Emeril Lagasse
  5. Jerry Falwell napping with a Teletubby stuffed toy
  6. Any day in the life of the British royalty
  7. Ricky Martin in a tasteful, hot pink, off-the-shoulder number
  8. Bill Gates on a Harley Davidson
  9. Yet another commercial starring Carrot Top
  10. Osama bin Laden in a Christian Science bookstore
construction site
 
 
The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough. 'Why don't you put your money where your mouth is,' he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back.'

'You're on, old man,' the braggart replied. 'Let's see what you got.'

The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, 'All right. Get in.' '

big red
 
 
A Russian couple were walking down a street in Moscow one night when the man felt a drop hit his nose.

"I think it's raining," he said to his wife.

"No that felt like snow to me, dear," she replied.

"No I'm sure it was just rain," he said. They were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then, they saw a minor communist party official walking towards them.

"Let's not fight about it," the man said. "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether its officially raining or snowing." As the man approached the husband said:

"Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?"

"It's raining, of course" he replied and walked on. But the woman insisted.

"I know that felt like snow!"

To which the man quietly said, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

how to get a raise
 
 
A boss tells his new employee, "I'll give you 8 bucks an hour starting today and in three months, I'll raise it to 10 bucks an hour. So when would you like to start?'

'In 3 months.'


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