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the law of the jungle
Two guys were hiking through the jungle when they spotted a tiger who looked both hungry and fast. One of the guys reached into his pack and pulled out a pair of Nikes. His friend looked at him.

'Do you really think those shoes are going to make you run faster than that tiger?'

'I don't have to run faster than that tiger,' his friend replied. 'I just have to run faster than you.'

knock-knock... madam

Who's there?


Madam who?

My damn foot is caught in the door.

microsoft and a halter top
What do Microsoft and a halter top have in common?

Both offer very little support!

a small journey through hell
A man dies and goes to Hell. The devil offers to personally escort the man around so he can choose the section of hell he would like to be in. The first section has everybody being burned constantly and getting a glass of water every 7 hours. The second section has everybody working hard and getting a glass of water every three hours. The last section has everybody kneedeep in crap.

"Well, this doesn't look too bad -- and it beats being burned or working. I'll take the crap."

"Okay," says the devil. "Everybody back on their heads."

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