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redhead joke
 
 
Q: What do you call a redhead with an attitude?
A: Normal.
big fat mopeds
 
 
What do fat chicks and mopeds have in common?

They're both fun as long as your friends don't see you on 'em!

torpedos
 
 
There was this woman who wanted bigger boobs. So she prayed to God and prayed and prayed, and eventually she got an answer -- God told her that every time someone said 'pardon me' to her, her boobs would get a little bit bigger. So she was in the grocery store and someone bumped into her and said 'pardon me' and her boobs got bigger. Then she was in the parking lot and someone hit her car and they said 'pardon me' and her boobs got a little bigger. That night this lady was in a restaurant, and a waiter tripped over her and spilled his food everywhere. He said 'Oh, excuse me! A thousand pardons.'
The next morning the headline in the newspaper was: 'Waiter killed by torpedos.'
the holy water
 
 
One day four nuns are called to the priests chambers. The priest tells the nuns that since they have been good and have upheld the standards of the church, they can do whatever they want for 24 hours.

After 24 hours, the priest calls the nuns back in and asks what they did. The first nun says, 'I had sex with two men at one time.'

The priest says, 'Quickly drink the holy water and God will forgive you.' The second nun tells the priest, 'I robbed a bank for $25,000.'

The priest says, 'Quickly drink the holy water and God will forgive you.'

The third nun tells the priest, 'I killed a woman that I have wanted dead all my life.'

The priest says, 'Quickly drink the holy water and God will forgive you.'

The priest said to the fourth nun, 'Okay, what sin did you commit.'

The fourth nun says, 'I pissed in the holy water.'


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