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jewish mother
A Jewish mother bought her son two pairs of socks for his birthday and, wishing to please her, he went upstairs to put a pair on. When he returned, his mother immediately said, 'You don't like the other pair?'
tarzan's kipling-esque treatise
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?

Hark! I shall soon be swimming in a veritable river of pachyderm seed!

a what?
A tiny but dignified old lady was among a group looking at an art exhibition in a newly opened gallery. Suddenly one contemporary painting caught her eye. 'What on earth,' she inquired of the artist standing nearby, 'is that?'

He smiled condescendingly. 'That, my dear lady, is supposed to be a mother and her child.'

'Well, then,' snapped the little old lady, 'Why isn't it?'

princess di and pink floyd
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?

The Wall.

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