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pothead shopper
 
 
This pothead walks into a store and says to the clerk, ' How much for that TV in the window?'
And the clerk says, ' I don't sell to potheads.'
So the pothead says, ' I'll come back in a week and be sober.'
A week later he comes back and walks up to the clerk, 'How much for the TV in the window?'
The clerk says, 'I told you I don't sell to potheads!'
Then the pothead says, 'I'll come back in another week and I will be sober.'
The pothead comes back another week later and says to the store clerk, 'How much for the TV in the window?'
The clerk says, 'I'm not going to tell you again. I don't sell to potheads.'
The pothead says, 'How do you know if I am?'
And the store clerk goes, 'Because that isn't a TV in the window. It's a microwave.'
movie theater mayhem!
 
 
A man was sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient.

"Sir," the usher said, "if you don't get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager."

Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly.

"All right, buddy. What's your name?"

"Sam," the man moaned.

"Where ya from, Sam?" the cop asked.

"The balcony."

some examples of murphy's law
 
 
Murphy's Law: Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.
  1. The spouse who snores the loudest always falls asleep first.
  2. The product you are most embarrassed to be buying must be price-checked over the P.A.
  3. The heavier the load, and the farther you must carry it, the more your nose itches.
  4. The original will be found when a replacement is bought.
  5. When you have a deadline, the printer always runs out of toner.
  6. When you have to get up early, the 'snooze' alarm is ten times longer than normal.
  7. Technical instructions are in three languages: Spanish, French, and Geek.
  8. Any Disney movie will be boycotted by some religious union with nothing better to do.
  9. After typing a multi-page report, Windows will perform an 'illegal operation' and erase your work.
  10. Traffic is only bad on days that end in 'y.'
y2k nostalgia
 
 
Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton, and Bill Gates were invited on the eve of the millennium to have dinner with God. After a little bit of small talk, God informed them that he would be destroying the earth the next day. Upon returning to earth, they each made announcemnts.

"I have two piece of bad news," said Boris Yeltsin. "One, God does exist. Two, all of the earth will be destroyed tomorrow."

"I have some good news and some bad news," said Bill Clinton. "First, the good -- God does exist. And the bad -- the earth will be destroyed tomorrow."

"I have some great news!" said Bill Gates. "One, I'm one of the three most important people on earth. Two, we've got this Y2K thing solved!"


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