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holding it in
 
 
What do you call someone who doesn't fart in public?

A private tutor!
a misuse of nasa technology
 
 
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets, and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea was to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers.

When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the pilot's backrest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin.

The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs for the windshield, and begged the U.S. scientists for suggestions.

NASA responded with a one-line memo: "Thaw the chicken."

stick 'em up
 
 
Police: Why did you steal his watch?

Thief: I didn't steal it, he gave it to me!

Police: When did he give it to you?

Thief: When I showed him the gun!
toot toot beep beep
 
 
What do you call a fart?

A turd honking for the right of way.


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