Whatever jokes

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proverbs
 
 
'Passionate kiss, like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.'
'Virginity like bubble. One prick, all gone!'
'Man who run behind car get exhausted'
'Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day'
'Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ.'
'Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok'
'Man with one chopstick go hungry.'
'Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.'
'Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.'
'Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk!'
'Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.'
'War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.'
'Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.'
'Man who sleep in cathouse by day, sleep in doghouse by night.'
'Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night!'
'Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out!'
'It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.'
'Man who drive like hell, bound to get there!'
'Man who sit on tack get point!'
'Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!'
'Man who lives in glass house should change in basement.'
'He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.'
'Man who farts in church sits in own pew.'
'Man who jumps from tall building, jumps to conclusion'.
'Crowded elevator smells different to midget."
stripper and model
 
 
What do you get when you cross a stripper with a model?

A boner.
some examples of murphy's law
 
 
Murphy's Law: Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.
  1. The spouse who snores the loudest always falls asleep first.
  2. The product you are most embarrassed to be buying must be price-checked over the P.A.
  3. The heavier the load, and the farther you must carry it, the more your nose itches.
  4. The original will be found when a replacement is bought.
  5. When you have a deadline, the printer always runs out of toner.
  6. When you have to get up early, the 'snooze' alarm is ten times longer than normal.
  7. Technical instructions are in three languages: Spanish, French, and Geek.
  8. Any Disney movie will be boycotted by some religious union with nothing better to do.
  9. After typing a multi-page report, Windows will perform an 'illegal operation' and erase your work.
  10. Traffic is only bad on days that end in 'y.'
toot toot beep beep
 
 
What do you call a fart?

A turd honking for the right of way.


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