Whatever jokes

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on the rooftop
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the party?

He heard the drinks where on the house.

celebrity sayings
Angelina Jolie: I am so in love with my brother right now!

Anna Nicole Smith: I don't have a boyfriend right now. I'm looking for anyone with a job that I don't have to support.

Brad Pitt: Being married means I can break wind and eat ice cream in bed.

Christina Ricci: My dream role would probably be a psycho killer, because the whole thing I love about movies is that you get to do things you could never do in real life, and that would be my way of vicariously experiencing being a psycho killer. Also, it's incredibly romantic.

Courtney Love: I don't need plastic in my body to validate me as a woman.

David Letterman: Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives.

Drew Barrymore: If I die before my cat, I want a little of my ashes put in his food so I can live inside him

Elizabeth Hurley: I've always wanted to be a spy, and frankly I'm a little surprised that British intelligence has never approached me

Heather Graham: Whenever I meet people who seem really sweet and unassuming, I kind of wonder about them.

Jennifer Lopez: People equate sexy with promiscuous. They think that because I'm shaped this way, I must be scandalous, like running around and bringing men into my hotel room. But it's just the opposite.
Justin Timberlake: Every relationship I've been in, I've overwhelmed the girl. They just can't handle all the love.

P. Diddy: I feel safe in white because, deep down inside, I'm an angel.

blondes and airplanes
A blonde rings up an airline. She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?"

The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..."

The blonde says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.

a man rides in on friday, stays two nights...
Q: A man rides in on Friday, stays two nights three days and then leaves on Friday.

How is that possible?

A: His horse was named Friday.

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