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that's not the pope's line of work, fool
There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope. It was stormy outside, and the plane was being rocked by some severe turbulence.
So this kindly old lady looked upon Death's door, and said to her papal neighbor, "Father, surely you can do something about this.."'

To which the Pope replied, "Sorry lady, I'm in sales, not management."

holy lottery
One day, Moishe went to the doctor and the doctor said that he had 10 days to 2 weeks left to live. Moishe said, 'Dr. I've done good things all my life. All I ever wanted was to win the lottery, just once!' The doctor said, 'Sorry Moishe, you're gonna die.' So Moishe went to his church and prayed. He said, 'God, all I ever wanted was to win the lottery. Just once.' The ceiling opened up and a light shined down upon Moishe and a deep booming voice said, 'Moishe, try buying a ticket.'
wailing whale
What do you do with a blue whale?

Cheer it up!

run, little cow
Why did the calf cross the street?

To get to the udder side.

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