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cow abortion
 
 
What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?

De-calf-i-nated!!
baked bean death
 
 
Slash, a well-known murderer, had been on death row for nearly 20 years. During that time, he had befriended the Warden. Now, the Warden still had a job to do, but that didn't stop him from treating Slash special from time to time. A week before Slash was to go to the electric chair, the Warden asked Slash if there was anything special he would like. Slash thought for a bit and said he would like the Warden to contact his wife and have her make meatloaf for him the rest of his life (which by this time, was short). Of course, the Warden complied and each day, Slash sat down and had a big feed of his wife's meatloaf.

The night before the big day, another prisoner was allowed to visit Slash and asked him. 'Aren't you afraid of dying tomorrow?'

Slash answered, 'I ain't gonna die tomorrow.'

The other prisoner then said, 'But tomorrow is Friday, and we all know, that's the day they're sendin' you to the electric chair.'

'Don't matter,' said Slash, 'if this meatloaf can't kill me, nothin' can.'

ronald mcdonald in a nudist colony
 
 
How do you find Ronald McDonald in a nudist colony?

Look for sesame seed buns!

go ahead and walk all over me
 
 
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in front of your door?

Matt.


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