Whatever jokes

Jokes » whatever » jokes 304

Whatever


don't eat the yellow snow
 
 
Once there were two farmers. One had a daughter and the other had a son. When thier kids were teenagers they started dating, and the two farners encouraged it. One day the girl's father went over to the other farmer's house and said that he didn't want thier children dating anymore. The boy's father asked, "Why not?"

The other farmer said, "Come here and I'll show you." In his yard was the girl's name written in pee in the snow.

The boy's father said, "Oh, come on, that's just boy stuff."

The other farmer said, "You think I dont' know my own daughter's handwriting?"

types of people you'd meet in a bathroom
 
 
EXCITABLE : Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts

SOCIABLE : Joins friends in pissing whether he has to or not

CROSS-EYED : Looks into next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed

TIMID : Cannot piss if someone is watching, flushes urinal and comes back later

INDIFFERENT : If all urinals being used, pisses in sink

CLEVER : No hands, fixes tie, looks around and pisses on floor

WORRIED : Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection

FRIVOLOUS : Plays stream up, down and across urinal, tries to hit fly or bug

ABSENT MINDED : Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants

CHILDISH : Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble

TOUGH : Bangs penis on side of urinal to dry it

PATIENT : Stands very close for a long time waiting, lets it drip dry, reads with other hand

EFFICIENT : Waits until he has to crap, then does both

DRUNK : Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants

DISGRUNTED : Stands for a while, gives up, walks away

CONCEITED : Holds two inch penis like a baseball bat

DESPERATE : Waits in long line, teeth clenched, pisses in pants

SNEAK : Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in next stall will get blamed

what's blue and fluffy?
 
 
Q: What's blue and fluffy?

A: Blue fluff.

shriveled lovin'
 
 
There was an old couple sitting at a table. The old man said to the old lady, "I remember 50 years ago we were sitting at this very table."

The old woman said, "Yes, and we were probably naked as jay birds."

The old man said, "Well, what do you say..wanna get naked?" So they both stripped.

The old woman said, "You know hunny, my breasts are just as hot for you as they were 50 years ago." a

The old man replied, "I can imagine, one is in your oatmeal and the other is in your coffee."


Page 305 of 497     «« Previous | Next »»