Whatever jokes

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you're so ugly... mistletoe
 
 
You're so ugly, at Christmas, we hang you up and kiss the mistletoe.
godawful pickup line
 
 
Is there a mirror in your pocket? Because I can definitely see myself in your pants tonight.
close enough for government
 
 
Three young boys were fighting over whose dad was the best.

"My dad is so good he can shoot an arrow, run after it, get in front of it, and catch it in his bare hands."

"My dad is so good that he can shoot a gun, run after the bullet, get in front of it and catch it in his bare hands."

"I've got you both beat. My dad's so good because he works for the city. He gets off work at 5:00 and is home by 4:30."

mime in a forest
 
 
A mime is walking aimlessly through a forest.

A tree falls on him.

Does anyone care?

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