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asian lady
There was an Asian lady who married an English gentleman and moved to London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but anyhow managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork legs.

The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say, and so unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast. The lady got what she wanted.

The third day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. So she brought her husband to the store...because he spoke English.

nervous taxi driver
Nervous Taxi Driver A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me." The frightened passenger, apologized to the driver, and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much. The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab.... I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."
an egyptian man is walking...

    An Egyptian man is walking through the Cairo bazaar, when a stranger comes up to him and offers to sell Viagra (illegal in Egypt) for 100 Egyptian pounds.

    "No, not worth it!"

    "OK, how about 50 Egyptian pounds?"

    "No, not worth it!"

    "OK, 20?"

    "No, not worth it!"

    "How about 10?"

    "No, not worth it!"

    "Listen, these pills cost US $10 each. How can you say they are not worth it?"

    "Oh, the pills ARE worth it. My wife is not worth it."

the blind man
I see, said the blind man, peeing into the wind. It's all coming back to me now.

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