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polar bears really like peas
How do you catch a polar bear?

You make a hole in the ice and line it with peas. When the bear goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.

gay on airplane
What do you call a gay guy on an airplane?

A fruit fly.
recruiting for a new pope
Since Pope John Paul is getting up in age the Vatican has started an early campaign to 'recruit' a successor. They have interviewed many applicants and after many months of interviewing they have narrowed the search to TWO final candidates: Bishop McLaughlin from Dublin Ireland and Bishop Sicola from New York. They are both very good candidates. The Vatican selection committee finally settled on Bishop Sicola. Though after much debate they changed their minds and said that Bishop Sicola would NOT be a good choice because it wouldn't seem proper to address the new pontiff as 'pope-si-cola.'
gorilla and computer
What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a computer?

A Harry Reasoner!

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