Whatever jokes

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recruiting for a new pope
 
 
Since Pope John Paul is getting up in age the Vatican has started an early campaign to 'recruit' a successor. They have interviewed many applicants and after many months of interviewing they have narrowed the search to TWO final candidates: Bishop McLaughlin from Dublin Ireland and Bishop Sicola from New York. They are both very good candidates. The Vatican selection committee finally settled on Bishop Sicola. Though after much debate they changed their minds and said that Bishop Sicola would NOT be a good choice because it wouldn't seem proper to address the new pontiff as 'pope-si-cola.'
gorilla and computer
 
 
What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a computer?

A Harry Reasoner!

ghost arrest
 
 
Q:Why was the ghost arrested?

A:Because it had no haunting license!!'

the hippie and the spice rack
 
 
With a screech of brakes, an ambulance pulls up at the local casualty ward and a hippie is wheeled out on a gurney. The doctor questions his long-haired colleagues.

'So what was he doing then?' asks the physician. 'Acid? Cannabis?'

'Sort of,' replies one of the hippies, nervously thumbing his caftan. 'But we ran out of gear, so I skinned up a homemade spliff.'

'And what was in that?' asks the doctor.

'Um, I kind of raided my girlfriend's spice rack.' says the hippie. 'There was a bit of cumin, some turmeric and a little paprika.'

'Well, that explains it,' the doctor replies, looking at them gravely. 'He is in a Korma.'


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