Whatever jokes

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poppa is a brand new bag
Yo' daddy's so ugly, when he looked out the window he was arrested for mooning!
with good claus
Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soots him.
memory fails
A 65-year-old woman gave birth to a baby boy.

When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.

'May we see the new baby?" one asked.

"Not yet," said the mother. "I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first."

Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"

"No, not yet," said the mother.

After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, "May we see the baby now?"

"No, not yet," replied the mother.

Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when can we see the baby?"

"WHEN HE CRIES!" she told them.

"WHEN HE CRIES?" they demanded to know why.

"Why do we have to wait until he CRIES?"

"BECAUSE, I forgot where I put him!"

do you know a good veterination?
Guy: Do you know a good veterination? Girl: No, why? Guy: I've got sick pythons.

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