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top 10 benefits of being a woman
 
 
  1. Women got off the Titanic first.
  2. Women can scare bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
  3. Women can be groupies. Men groupies are called "stalkers."
  4. Women can cry and get off speeding tickets.
  5. Taxis stop for women.
  6. Free dinners, free drinks, free movies. Do the math.
  7. A new lipstick can give a woman a whole new lease on life.
  8. No one has to know if a woman forgets to shave.
  9. Women can congratulate their teammates without ever touching their rear.
  10. Women never regret piercing their ears.
captain red shirt
 
 
A ship captain always asks for his red shirt when he sights a pirate ship, and he always wins in battle against them. His first mate asks him why he always wants the red shirt and the captain replies, 'Because if I get wounded, you won't see the blood and you'll keep on fighting.' The next day, a whole fleet of pirate ships attack and the first mate says, 'Give me my brown pants!'
fruit
 
 
Q: What do you call a bunch of gay guys standing on line?
A: Fruit by the foot.
women rock
 
 
What do women and rocks have in common?

You skip the flat ones


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