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true software professional
Guy 1: Hey! Why do you smoke cigarettes even though there is a warning on the pack that says it's bad for your health?
Guy 2: I am a software professional. I don't bother about warnings -- I am concerned only about the 'Alerts.'
Where do lady ghosts go for haircuts?

The Boo-ty Parlor!
the indecisive chicken
Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side... er, no... to go shopping... no, not that either... damn it!

medicinal marijuana
Why can't you shoot up marijuana?

Because you'll get a budclot!

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