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three men visit god on the mountaintop
 
 
Three men heard rumors of a mountaintop where God came down to solve people's problems. So they all went to the mountain.

The first man was deaf and God asked him, 'Can I help you, son?' The man started signing in sign language that he would be so happy if only he could hear. So God touched the man and suddenly he could hear.

God then asked the second man, who was blind, 'What can I do for you, my son?'

The second man said, 'Oh God, if I could only see I would be so happy.' So God touched him and the man was able to see.

Meanwhile, the third man was sitting in his wheelchair with his mouth wide open in amazement. God looked at the man and asked him what he wanted.

The man stepped back and yelled, 'Don't lay one finger on me, God, I am on total disability!'
kangaroo + leap year =
 
 
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a calendar?

A leap year!

jungle poker
 
 
Why didn't the elephant like to play cards in the jungle?
Because there were too many cheetahs.
the leaning tower of pisa
 
 
Did you hear the Italian Government is going to put a clock on the Leaning Tower of Pisa? They figure what good is the inclination, if you don't have the time.

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