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donations to the preacher
After the church service, a little boy told the pastor he was going to give him a lot of money when he grew up.

'Well, thank you,' the pastor replied, 'but why?'

'Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had!'
me talk pretty
Three men, an American, an Arab, and a Chinese man are in a 7-eleven when a robber storms in. The robber points his gun at the American and says, If you think of a sentence with pink, green and yellow in it, I won't kill you. The American, mumbles something and gives up so the robber shoots him. The Arab doesn't know what to say and also gets shot. The robber then looks at the Chinese man who frantically says, "My phone go 'green, green', I 'pink' it up, and I say, 'yellow, yellow'"
creative writing
A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements: religion, royalty, sex and mystery.

The prize-winning essay read, "My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder whose it is?"

good can of corn
There were three couples, one elderly, one middle aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks. After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained.

"Yes, no problem!" So the minister welcomes them to the church. Then he asks the middle aged couple the same question

"Well, after one week, the husband had to sleep on the couch, but we made it!" So the minister welcomes them to the church. Then the minister asks the newlywed couple if they had abstained from sex for two weeks.

"We were unable to abstain. On the third day, my wife dropped a can of corn and when she bent over to pick it up, LUST and PASSION overcame me!"

"I'm sorry," the minister says, "but you are both banned from this church!"

"That's okay," says the husband, "We were banned from the supermarket, too."

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