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thank the lord!
 
 
There was a guy in the middle of the desert and his car broke down. He started walking and he came to a monastery, where he asked them if he could borrow a mule. The monks lent him one, and they explained that you had to say “Thank the Lord!” to make it go and “Amen!” to make it stop. So the man said, “Thank the lord, thank the lord and thank the lord!” and the mule took off! He was comming to the edge of a cliff and he forgot how to make it stop. Finally, at the very edge he remembered, “Amen!” Tee guy was so releved he shouted, “Thank the lord!”
midget shmidget
 
 
Did you hear about the midget that went to a nudist colony?

He kept getting in everyone's hair.
the engineer and the bike
 
 
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one asked, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

cousin jack falls apart
 
 
One friend was talking with another friend about his cousin who recently passed away.

"By the time cousin Jack died he had a transplanted heart, a plastic hip joint, a plastic leg and a plastic arm."

"Where did they burry him?'"

"Duh - they didn't bury him, he was recycled!"


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