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genetic manipulation for good, not evil
 
 
What do you get when you cross a centipede with a turkey?
Drumsticks for everybody!
dreams about growin' up
 
 
One day, three boys were talking about what they wanted to be when they grew up.

'I wanna be a singer so I can say 'Me, me, me, me, me.'

'I wanna be a chef so I can say knife and fork.'

'I wanna be a gambler so I can say you wanna make a bet.'

When they grew up they all got the jobs they wanted. One day, a policeman walked into a building and said,'Who killed this man?'

The singer said 'Me, me, me, me, me.'

'What did he kill him with?'

'Knife and fork,' said the chef.
'You're going to jail.'

'You wanna make a bet?' said the gambler.
recruiting for a new pope
 
 
Since Pope John Paul is getting up in age the Vatican has started an early campaign to 'recruit' a successor. They have interviewed many applicants and after many months of interviewing they have narrowed the search to TWO final candidates: Bishop McLaughlin from Dublin Ireland and Bishop Sicola from New York. They are both very good candidates. The Vatican selection committee finally settled on Bishop Sicola. Though after much debate they changed their minds and said that Bishop Sicola would NOT be a good choice because it wouldn't seem proper to address the new pontiff as 'pope-si-cola.'
that's not the pope's line of work, fool
 
 
There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope. It was stormy outside, and the plane was being rocked by some severe turbulence.
So this kindly old lady looked upon Death's door, and said to her papal neighbor, "Father, surely you can do something about this.."'

To which the Pope replied, "Sorry lady, I'm in sales, not management."


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