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sons devoted to mom
 
 
Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves. They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother.

"Well," said the first one, "I bought Mom a huge house in Beverly Hills."

"I bought her a Mercedes and hired a full-time driver for her."

"I've got you both beat," said the third. "I bought her a miraculous parrot that can recite any Bible verse you tell it to."

A little later, the mother sent out a thank you letter to all three sons. "Gerald -- the house you bought was too big. I only live in one room, but I have to clean the entire house. Milton -- the car is useless because I don't go anywhere because I'm too old. But Robert -- you know exactly what I like. The chicken was delicious."

skull & bones
 
 
Q: Why were the bones chasing the skull?

A: Because they wanted to get ahead.
harry potter sequels
 
 
of Montezuma
  • Harry Potter and the Sorcerer from NAMBLA
  • Harry Potter and the Painful Rectal Itch
  • Harry Potter and the Decline of Literacy
  • Harry Potter and the Sticky March Issue of Hustler
  • Harry Potter and the Sorceress's Sore
  • Harriet Potter after the Life-Altering Surgery
  • Harry Potter and the Curse of the Lisp
  • Harry Potter and the Inflatable Sheep
  • Harry Potter and Spinning Grave of Tolkien
  • Harry Potter and the Trenchcoat Mafia
  • Harry Potter and the Carnivorous Pony
  • Harry Potter and the Over-Hyped Children's Author and Clever Marketing Campaign
  • Harry Potter and the Unexplainable Wad of Tissues
  • old ladies' noggins
     
     
    Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down."

    The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed and I couldn't remember whether I was going to sleep or had just woken up!

    The third lady smiles smugly, "Well, my memory is just as good as it's always been, knock on wood," she says as she raps on the table. Then with a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?"


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